First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Randomize
