when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
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