so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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