i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I touched a dick in church today
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Randomize
