Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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