come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
