fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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