update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
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