help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
