Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
dude. I can hear the air.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
