she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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