Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
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