its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Randomize
