sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I cut my penus on the lid.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Randomize
