he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Randomize
