I feel like I'm in dance class right now
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
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