i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
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