I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
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