Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Randomize
