I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Randomize
