i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
you will always have a special place in my vag
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
