if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
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