please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Randomize
