They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Randomize
