:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
my poor anus
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
Randomize
