Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
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