She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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