What did we do last night that was yellow?
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
I need to align my fucking chakras
Randomize
