I want to have your abortion
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
