this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Randomize
