Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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