My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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