Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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