Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Randomize