I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
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