Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
