Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
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