At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
