Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Randomize
