How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
