Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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