You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Randomize
