Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
