69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
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