Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
