I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
