i think my tv is drunk
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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