Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
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