I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
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