Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
sex in a hospital.. check
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
