He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
