he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
